Drink and drugs
Ok lets start with the beer comercials. They show big men doing
menly things you've just killed a dear time to have a beer. Why don't they do a realistic one, It's five am you've just pissed
on a dumpster it's miller time. It's a scary thing cause you realise the first thing alcohol does is make English your second
language. You may be a very smart scientist but after 9-10 budwisers your speaking fluent-drunkanese. Then you go further
you go in to wine and for the very eligant people in matalk going dammit i wish i could have been there but no i'm not. Then
theres the people who argue in resturants saying i don't know whether to have the red wine with the chicken or the fish, whats
it matter asshole there dead. The chicken is not gonna pull his head up and say "the fish". But then you've gone to far you
have to pay and the next day you pay. And your lying in bed and you feel like your in that scene from "the fly" going Help
me Help me. The entire room is spinning like a roolete wheel place your bets please place your bets. And your toilets in the
corner saying talk to me, i understand. Even your dogs lookin at you like you would not believe some of the crap you were
saying to me last night, i was that scared i had to back out the room. You promised me a evening with lassy you bastard. And
thats when you know your an alcoholic. You could be in the clinic shaking a cup saying i am a reformed alcoholic. No you have
that bottle of vodka i will be in the corner kicking the cat.
You then realise well im still the same asshole i just have fewer dents in
your car!
You then have the stoners saying alcohol is bad. And you say really, really
Mr herbal life. you just sowed your ass to a chair and your givin me shit.
You probably don't know this but when you get stoned you can actually see
a fly buzzing round in your room really slowly.
And you could be eating kitty litter and saying, mmmm this is crunchy.And
sometimes the people who get stoned get there pets stoned to make them feel better and the dog starts backing away and says
please i just wanna lick my own genitals. And you blow it in his face and he starts spinning saying get the tail get the tail.
And the next thing, you get hungry you think you can leave the house, you
liar! And you say yeah i can do this if i can just find my god damn feet. You get out side and if you have one of those japanese
cars that when you open the door it says "your door is open" and if your stoned your going i knew that. You get in the car
you start to drive , oh wait the keys you again start to drive , oh reverse your going down the highway you think scotty is
sitting next to you saying you cant do it you'll push it over the edge.
